It doesn't even seem possible, does it?  In one more week, 7 days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, or 604,800 seconds, my baby is gonna be ONE!

This time last year, I was looking at nursery that had furniture that was empty and my baby shower for the girls was in less then 48 hours.  I was worried about how I'd feel about having a baby shower for twin girls when I didn't know if I would be able to bring both my girls home.  I was huge.  I slept in the recliner mostly because my back bothered me in the bed.  I was still getting nauseated and drinking a regular coke once a day.  I was downing 24-36 oz of 1% milk (and I used to HATE milk) and over 100oz of water daily.  Oh, and chicken nuggets, they were as much a part of my diet as was the water itself!  I drank a few boosts each day for some protein.  But, mostly, I felt great!!  Absolutely great!

So, now it's been a year?  I had no idea that I was going to go into unstoppable pre-term labor at 29 weeks and 2 days.  I had no idea I was contracting (My mom knew, but me?  No idea - probably why I was dilated to 8 cm when I GOT to the hospital!).  I have the most beautiful little girl right next to me asleep (long story, but between Charley painting a few bathrooms and me being sick, we have been camping out in the living room a lot lately) and the most beautiful little girl in Heaven.  Yeah, I'm biased, but who wouldn't be?

Recently, I got a doll in honor of Addy.  It's a replica of what she looked like size and how she felt weight wise as well when she was born.  I'll get pics of her with this doll soon and I'm going to put her preemie clothes on the doll and show they they SWALLOW the doll as they did Addy back this time last year.  I am just floored with how little this doll is, but then I think...she really WAS that little!  I'm going to get one made for Reagan in time too.  But, we're trying to figure out the details of her doll.  Probably, I'll get it closer to Christmas.

Anyway, this is just some late night ramblings.  I had a rough day myself.  Basically, we ventured to Target to get some things as we were out of everything.. paper towels, toilet paper, diapers, etc...etc..  We had to go.  We had to run to Lowe's to get our light fixture switched out too as it had a short in it.  And, I basically melted in Lowe's.  I was so out of it physically I couldn't do it.  I thought just a few hours at the stores would be good to help with rebuilding my stamina.. and it wasn't.  I was so wiped I konked out for 6 straight hours.  Heck, I don't even remember eating lunch, but apparently, I did.  I'm better now... and trying to rest more.  Steroids are just mean and mean to my body.

Sorry this is all over the place!  But, I still can't believe... one more week!  One more week and I'm the mommy of a ONE YEAR OLD!  How did that happen?  She's sure to have one awesome birthday party low-key with some family and friends and I'll update you all later with photos and details once it all transpires!  And, yes, I'm going to get my baking skills on for her bday!   I got her cake idea in my head and cannot wait to make it! 

That's all for now!

Well, on Saturday, after 8 days in the hospital, I was released at around 1:45pm!  It felt SOO good.  My nurse wheeled my happy tail out of the hospital.  I was discharged with stronger pain pills then I currently have (He told me if I needed something stronger, something was wrong and I needed to come back), a medication called Librax (similar to Bentyl, but it doesn't have the tiredness side effect I was having with it, which REALLY bothered me, especially with having Addy and I only take Librax 2x per day instead of Bentyl was 4x per day), and of course the lovely dreaded steroids.  But, they are already weaning me off steroids.  I saw a different GI on Saturday for discharge as Dr. Rusche went on vacation, but I will follow up with Dr. Rusche.  Dr. Bello discharged me and he was fantastic.  I had my bags packed and my shower and I called Charley and the nurses frantically got my paperwork together in about 30 minutes because I was ready to GO!   I missed my baby girl!

The first few days have been tough.  My stamina is absolutely wiped.  I had forgotten the evil side effects of steroids and also how badly a severe flare takes a hit on you physical body.  I seriously only put away Addy's clothes that Charley had already washed and laid out on her crib and simply put them on hangers and into her hutch and I was so tired I had to take a nap.  The next day I tried a few more things time wise and took a shower and you'd think I'd ran a marathon.  I'm huffing and puffing after just walking up the stairs and I get light-headed so easily.  A lot of it IS steroids, but another bit was being in bed for nearly 2 weeks once you consider the week before I was admitted.  I'm really winded.  I hate feeling like this, but I'm at least moving UP the hill now and not sliding down. 

I lost a total of 7lbs in the hospital.  Not really that bad, but not great either.  I'm gaining it back thanks to steroids, but I could of stood to lose it anyway.  Steroids increase your appetite and sort of balloon you up.  I'm feeling my face already begin the "swelling" process so I'm not looking forward to moon face and I'm hoping we can avoid it with a shortened dose of steroids.  My legs ache too, steroids again!

But, I'm feeling alright.  Days are tough and it's a matter of rebuilding strength.  My most important goal is to regain the strength to take care of Addy.  If it's all I get done in a day, that's okay.  We're doing okay.   Making and preparing meals for her can be exhausting, but I've cut us both some slack and instead of doing all home-cooked like I normally do, she's been getting a lot of prepackaged foods.  But, she's enjoying the break!  We do share a banana quite frequently, but she's eating a lot of Gerber Pasta Pick-ups these day and Gerber Puffs!   Hopefully we'll get back to her regular menu in a week or two once things calm down.  She's really a good eater.  She loves ALL kinds of fruits and veggies.  She even really likes broccili and cauliflower.  I was really blessed with a good little eater.  I laugh because I found her photos from the first time I fed her cereal and she SCREAMED bloody murder.  Now, she drinks her formula from a sippy cup (we still do a few bottles a day - night and morning usually or naptimes), she eats lots of finger foods with NO teeth still (Yes, almost 1 and NO teeth!), and she typically clears her plate/tray.  I'm lucky here!  I know this! 

The first night home with Addy was hard though.  She became QUITE the Daddy's girl while I was in the hospital, which was hard.  I cried.  She hurt herself and immediately bypassed me and went STRAIGHT to Daddy and at bedtime she wanted DADDY and not me.  That was hard.  Granted, I think the last 8 days were fantastic for her and Daddy.  They got a lot of good bonding time in and Grandma got lots of cuddles too, but man, that hurt.  I know she just was confused, but it was hard.  But, as of today, Tuesday, she's coming around and learning to want mommy more and more again.  Of course, she loves her Dada and hollers her name ALL the time!  But, I finally heard a Mama on Sunday!

As for her words?  She's a jibber-jabber'er that's for sure!  Dada, Mama, Nana (which we can't seem to figure out if she's saying no-no or banana - she just mutters it nonstop), she says her name too which is funny.  When we named her Addy we never thought how easy her name would be to say, but hey, that's okay!  She says Hi and Hey and lots of Ahhs.  Nothing more then that really and I didn't honestly expect her to jibber as much as she has being that she's got time to catch up still, but I think her cousin Clayton has taught her a few things along the way.  In fact, I know he has!

She's SUCH a giggler these days too.  She has this "fake" laugh and if you are laughing at someone else and she's in the room, she'll just demand your attention and giggle too, but very "fakey."  She's a ball of fun.  We have her sort of baracaded in the living room these days with toys, but she still manages to climb into and over everything and her new favorites are climbing OVER her toy piano and knocking it over with her, climbing UNDER her exersaucer that splits apart into an entertainment center and pulling up to play with all the fun buttons on the cable box, surround sound, and dvd player (all the while Daddy screams NO-NO ADDISON!).  And, she promptly looks at daddy giggles and does it again and screams DADA right back at him.  Uhm yeah, we have some discipline issues in our future!

But, all is going well.  We have a crazy August ahead.  Her birthday is the 2nd and we're having a fun party at our home!  I can't wait really.  It's a princess party, of course, and I just love opening our home to our friends and family!  I'm hoping it's not TOO screeching hot, but we're moving furniture around to make sure if it's TOO hot, everyone can have a seat and chat inside!  2 weeks after that, I'm in charge of a large bowling event in town and that is keeping me busy as ever too, and then the following Friday, we're off on vacation!  Can't wait!  We're going to go see some friends in Florida and frankly, I'm excited.  Addy gets to go to Disney and we're hoping to just enjoy a break before everything gets crazy for fall.  I'm a bit nervous about her first BIG trip, but we're planning on driving through the night and hopefully she'll sleep!

Hmm.. I guess I should let you all know on a few other pieces of info!

1) My Crohn's is not responding 100% to the Remicade yet.  I have to schedule a follow-up for next week with Dr. Rusche and I'm sure we'll discuss at length.  Apparently, it can take up to 6 treatments (1 yo) for it's full effectiveness to really kick in.  That worries me greatly.  I wonder how much I'll have to "suffer" before I get the relief I was SO used to.  I had a spell tonight and it just wasn't good.  Not near as bad, but wasn't good.  I had to take a pain pill.  I've taken 3 since I've been home and I know I shouldn't beat myself up over that.  There are LOTS of people with Crohn's that live with pain meds daily.  I just hate taking them, especially when I have Addy.  But, anyway, please continue to pray that the Remicade kicks in sometime soon.  We were hoping it was the "answer," but if it doesn't work soon or it's effectiveness isn't enough, they could be talking other drugs and my drug list option is pretty slim.  I think we've got 2-3 more drugs and then they start discussing removing and re-sectioning my colon with just scares the crap out of me.  I'd likely need an ostomy for life, which doesn't so much bother me, but I'm just not "ready" for it yet, if that makes sense.  I know in the future it's going to likely be in the cards, but I hold onto hope that these drugs that are coming onto the market are what will work for me, or at least buy me time.

2) More children - Yes, I said MORE kids!   Obviously, this is based SOLELY on the outcomes of the above, but if all goes well, we hope to do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) with our remaining embryos from our IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization) from last year with the girls.  These eggs that are frozen were retrieved at the time we conceived the girls AND fertilized.  They cryo-froze them and whenever we are ready, we go back and they unthaw them and simply transfer them.  The process is WAY easier on my body and cheaper to boot!  But, there is conflicting info with the GIs.  Some say I need declared remission for 3-6 months, some say just as long as you're in remission, etc.  See, if I'm NOT in remission, I have a VERY VERY good chance of having a miscarriage or having severe complications with a pregnancy.  The good news is I have an AMAZING fertility doctor who works well with me on when to transfer.  So, we work around my Remicade.  It's hard, but we do it.  We had hoped for September, but this last flare-up set me back and we have to wait to talk to the GI's before we do anything.  It might still work, but I'm losing hope that it will and we may just have to push it back another month or two to give my body a chance to heal.  But, yes ladies and gents!   We are going to embark on the crazy land of infertility and conception again.  It's not as exciting as the good ol' fashioned way, but we cannot wait to announce to all of you when we are pregnant again!  I felt WONDERFUL pregnant, and I can't wait to feel that again and I cannot WAIT to make Reagan & Addison Big sisters!   But, again, like I said, it's all up to what the GIs say and my fertility doc.  I'm sure it'll be another battle, but not one I'm really worried about at the moment.  Though, it has been said and advised that we conceive quickly (once in remission) as future surgeries could cause bigger issues for pregnancy then we already have!  But, more on this as we come to it!

I think that's it.  That was a VERY long update, but I'm a bit scattered still.  Steroids and pain pills and all the meds just make me a bit off at times.  So, I apologize for that!

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and well wishes.  We still need some as we're approaching difficult days ahead with the bittersweet day of August 2nd.... but I'm glad to be home... and holding my baby girl.  She certainly makes me smile during even the worst of moments....

Just when I think I'm doing better... it hits.

I guess I shouldn't of ventured into soft foods, but I was hungry.  A few hours after I ate, and 2 episodes later, the nurse just jacked me up with dilaudid and bentyl (sp???).  The dilaudid is taking away the pain and making me loopy and the bentyl is supposed to help calm the spasms in my intestines.  I'll take anything...

Now, off to try and sleep.  I'm trying like hell not to get down on myself about this, but it's hard.  There's so much that needs done and I have no strength to do anything now and this is a hill I'm going to have to climb to regain it.

Just when things looked good again... 

Sorry, I just need to pout about it I guess.  I try and keep a positive outlook on Crohn's.  I try not to let it interfere with life so much and I try like hell to take care of myself, but this episode took me off guard so much that it simply has gotten me down. 

I hung some pics up of Addy and Addy at Reagan's grave.  I look at those and they make me smile.  I just want to get home.  Her birthday is 2 weeks from Saturday... The anniversary of Reagan's death is 2 weeks from Saturday.  And, here I am in the hospital.  I guess if you really think about it... the timing of this flare is during a stressful period of my life....

This ugly disease...  God chose me to live this road for a reason and some days I just feel defeated and angry...luckily and the good days outweigh the bad, but then there are those days...  days like today...

Dr. Rusche's comments to me from the get go "I don't want to see anything drastic.  I just want you to get a little better than the day before."  Easy enough, right?  Ugh, I guess!

Frustrating. 

That about sums it up!  I'm holding okay.  I'll get through it, but never did I think I was going to experience THAT kind of pain AFTER my Remicade and never did I think THAT kind of pain would throw me into the hospital for a week, but I guess it does.  Dr. Rusche was quite surprised I hadn't had a stay like this yet. 

Anyway, the update is this, all is pretty much well.  He's hoping to have me from IV steroids to oral steroids by Friday which indicates to me I might get out of here around Saturday, 8 days later.  (not the 3-4 we thought).  But, Dr. Rusche just isn't quite pleased that we're still having 6 bowel movements a day and all watery. I guess I'm getting well and resting and that's good, but I just want to go home, yet home will be hard with an almost 1 year old to chase around, so I stay here and rest and get better. 

The BEST news of the day is, I was given the okay for SOFT FOODS.  I went from CLEAR LIQUID DIET to ALL LIQUID DIET to SOFT FOODS and then we'll soon be at REGULAR MENU.  That's a GREAT feeling!  But, I just ate my first meal in almost a week - meatloaf (was thinking it'd be already processed - easy to diet) and macaroni and cheese (soft), cottage cheese (soft), and angel food cake.  But, too be honest, not as appetizing as I thought.  My belly hasn't held that much food in a long time, so I got down about 1/2 of all of it and I'm stuffed. 

Of course my baby came to see me tonight!  She just lights up when I see her but she's terribly ancy here and I think she just knows something isn't right.  So, hopefully I'll be home soon and she'll be a little easier to handle.  But, she's as cute as ever and that makes me smile. 

I had a few other visitors.  My mom has been to see me daily.  I wouldn't be able to do any of this without her!  Seriously, she's my lifesaver and has been helping with Addy all week.  And, 2 of my coworkers came to see me.  It was good seeing new faces...

All for now.  I don't have any drastic to say.  I did have to take some more dilaudid (pain meds) this morning and it was a rough night.  But, I had a very nice nurse this morning who kindly gave me some drugs, shut off all my lights, put a sign on my door, and I was able to get a few hours of shut eye.  And, they let me skip breakfast this morning, WHICH IS HUGE!  If I skip a meal around here, usually the dietitian is banging on my door!  I know I've lost some weight because I haven't been able to squeeze into my size L t-shirts for a while, and now they fit pretty darn good...  I guess there's some good to this situation!

Well, the hospital is a not so fun place to be, but where I need to be.  I had a rough evening.

A PICC line for those who don't know runs up my left arm and it feeds into my chest close to my heart.  I don't feel the burn of medications and I get pretty instant pain relief once they push the drug in because it hits your heart and your heart just pumps it out quickly.  So, it has it's benefits.  Well, 2 issues we had.  One was just annoying.  My PICC kept kinking and would stop my IV from running.  This happened at least 10 times yesterday.  Finally, a kind nurse of mine last night moved my wires around and I only have set it off once now, but there is a permanent kink in my PICC, hopefully I don't have it long anyway.

The other issue is that I was having pressure in my chest last night.  My blood pressures have been steady around 130s/80-90s...that is SUPER high for me, but they told me if you are on a LOT of fluids (as I am) it can cause that, so they aren't concerned.  But, I just felt "funny" last night.  Felt off and it was making me nauseated.  By the time the nurse caught wind of all this, they ran my vitals and called the doc and then did an EKG.  My EKG was normal.  But this was around 9pm and all I wanted was a stinkin' shower for the day!  I got nixed of it!!  I was so exhausted, she just hooked me back up to the fluids and I drowsed off.  I was awakened, as normal, at 5am for blood draws.  And then Dr. Rusche came in at 7am, on the nose!

As for last night, Dr. Rusche said we could move to an all liquid diet.  So, I get Ensure and pudding now.  My stomach gurgled horribly last night.  But, he said that was fine. 

This morning, he came in, and my hemoglobins are holding steady.  I'm less tender, which means it's healing and the steroids and Remicade are starting to kick in.  All of my cultures have come back negative and therefore, he is taking me off antibiotics.  I'm just on electrolytes and then moving to an all liquid diet and maybe I'll get to try real food in a day or too. It all depends on how today goes. 

We're on the upswing.  This blog entry seems all over the map, but I'm a bit scattered I think.  I just want to get home to my little girl, quite honestly!  But, then I know I need to rest.  I did get to hold her while she took a nap last night and that was wonderful.  It's been hard for me to handle her lately because of the IV, but after Daddy got her to sleep, I held her... loved every second of it!

Off for now, will update more later...

Morning all.  I think my mom had directed some of you here and I know I have sent some here too, so I'm going to make an honest effort to keep all updated between the crazy pain medicines...

The PICC line is in and I admit it's a better option, but it keeps kinking on the outside where all the tape is.  Since it's a sterile environment, they have to wash up and put gloves and a mask on to even mess with it.  Last night, they tried removing all the tape and repositioning, but it didn't help.  It's right on the upper part of my left arm on the inside where when you bend your arm, your muscle comes up (not that I have much, but enough to cause a problem!).  So, once we get this under wraps, it'll be great.  It ached a bit yesterday, but it's really been trouble free since.  Porbably one of the best decisions we made yet.

I had to ask for 2 doses of pain meds yesterday, which is far better then Saturday as I think I had 12 or better shots of the drug.  Today, I woke up and in about 15 minutes time, I had spasms and went 3 times.  So, my pain started to come on and while not as strong, they have made me promise if I get to a 4 (and some tell me 3), then I ask for the pain meds. I hate doing that. I usually take nothing more then Tylenol, but I've been on an opiate stronger then Morphine for the last few days.. It just feels like too much drug, but I have to understand that the drug wears off in time as far as effectiveness and since we know where this pain has been, it's kind of a necessity.  The hope is I don't need much more of it.  I don't really like pain meds period.  Plus this causes my nose and scalp to itch.  And, then I sweat for hours on end and need new sheets and a bath.  Dr. Rusche just wants me to get a little better each day..so that is today's goal, better then yesterday.

The dietitian came in to see me too.  I'm on an all clear liquid diet  So, I can have: chicken broth, jellow, icees, apple juice, grape juice, tea, sprite, diet coke, coke, etc... there isn't much on the menu, and to be truthful I don't have an appetite.  But, they are worried.  I don't know my weight at this point, but I'm sure I've lost around 5-10lbs at this point.  As soon as they release me to a liquid diet, I'll be able to have milkshakes and boost and such.  But, my bowel needs to rest.  I am getting round the clock fluids, so I'm staying hydrated and you can go a while without food, but the last piece of food I had was Friday at around noon.. I had 1/2 a chicken pot pie.   So, they said I could go 5 day sin a clear liquid diet before we start talking about getting something like TPN (basically a nutritional supplement in a tube.  Hoping to avoid that.

Oh, and LaDonna came in this morning too.  She's Dr. Prasad's (my local GI/old GI) nurse practioner (NP).  She's fantastic.  Loved seeing her.  She's worried about my hemoglobins.  They fell from 10. something to 8.9 in 48 hours.  So, I'm bleeding from somewhere.  She said all my cultures were negative, so everything is essentially stating this is all a true Crohn's flare.  But, they are checking my labs again this afternoon and if it's not any better, they'll do a blood transfusion.  In addition, she said we really need to see this new dose of Remicade to start kicking in because if not they'll start looking to other drugs such as Humira and Cimzia.  If they can't get it under control with some of these big drugs, they'll will have to resort to removing my colon.  I think the Remicade is slowly kicking in alongside the steroids, but that is a very scary thought, very scary.  I'm sure things are going to be okay.  But, if you are the praying kind, please pray the meds kick in soon.  I do NOT want to have my colon removed... it's a fact of Crohn's, but one I'm not ready for yet, by far...

THanks for all the thoughts and well wishes.  This really caught me off guard, completely off guard.  I knew I was bad, but had no idea I was THIS bad. 

Will post more as I know more...

Well, I'm not so drugged up that I might be able to type this long story of mine....

In short, the last week has been tough.  We had a family reunion Saturday afternoon and then did fireworks at my parents that night.  I was a little rough, but nothing unmanageable for me.  I took a pain pill knowing it would help me get rest and take the edge off things.  By Sunday morning, it was not any better.  I stayed on pain pills through Monday and my parents took her while Charley worked both days.  Tuesday, Charley was off, so I tried to go into work thinking the rest was good.  I was close to my Remicade infusion, so I just needed to buy another 48 hours or so.  I felt okay to try work, but I went in late because I needed the rest.  Well, things went south quickly.  I just stared at my work.  I couldn't think straight to even know what I was supposed to do.  I called my doctors and they recommended we go to ER to get fluids and nausea meds and pain meds.  I was having quite a bit of nausea and had thrown up on Sunday night even.  The pain wasn't much better either.  I hadn't been eating or drinking from all the nausea and diarrhea.  So, off the ER we went.  I got some great nausea meds and had benadryl with it as it caused me to be jittery.  They sent me home with some pain meds and some nausea meds.  Wednesday was hard, but I slept so much and was okay.  Thursday, I got my Remicade!  My nurses knew I wasn't well, but I ordered a menu of a homemade chicken pot pie from the hospital (we have GOOD food at our hospital!)  I was able to eat and enjoy it.  I just thought for sure we're headed to a good place here.  Well, I took Friday off because I was so weak from no food, not much liquids, and all the meds.  I thought I was "okay" and had high hopes by Saturday evening,  I'd be almost back to normal as the meds usually kick in.  Well, at 3am Saturday morning, I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital.... here's where this begins.....


At around 1:30am Saturday morning, I woke to some pain, not much, but enough to warrant the thought and taking of 2 pain pills to get some rest.  Over the course of the next hour, the pain escallated instead of getting better.  I woke Charley by banging the door on our cabinet in our bathroom because he couldn't hear my weak screams.  He woke up and I was trying to tell him things to grab for Addy inbetween dealing with the enormous pain and talking to my mom.  We got downstairs and he got her settled in the car, and I went to sit down and couldn't make it.  It simply hurt too bad.  I ran back inside back to the bathroom and just rocked on the toilet.  He decided to call 911 and called my sister-in-law as well, Tera.  Once the ambulance got there and loaded me up, Tera and Charley & Addy followed behind in 2 different cars.  Then, Steven, my brother, went to pick up my mom who was out with my dad at an R/C (Remote Control airplane) meet and was without a car.  He brought my 14 month old nephew. 

In the meantime, I get to the hospital and with the help of Tera, they get my pain meds in about 30 minutes.  I was at a 12 on a scale of 1 to 10, no exaggeration necessary, trust me there.  They gave me an opiate called Dilaudid, which is essentially 10x the strength of morphine.  I was on this about every 90 minutes until around Noon.  I stayed in ER until around 9am when they got me a room. 

In the ER, they gave me phenergan (Nausea meds) and the dilaudid (pain meds) every 90 minutes.  They ran a CT scan to ensure where the pain was and what to make sure there was no blockage.  No blockage, just severe inflammation in the lower descending part of my colon to my rectum. 



They had paged the oncall GI (Gastroenterologist) to get plans.  The ER doctor had already decided I was being admitted because it was quite obvious my pain was out of control, but he knew I was pretty sick.  He got ahold of the oncall GI and they came to see me before I left ER.  Dr. Rusche is who is dealing with me at the moment and will be this week, but then I'll go to a different doctor as Dr. Prasad (my old GI, but still handling care if needed) and Dr. Rusche will be out for several weeks.  He ordered up a slew of meds and a sigmoid colonoscopy and was super nice. 

Once I got in the room, they had to wait on my pain meds so they could do my enemas.  Those scared me to death just because I knew I was in pain down there and I had no idea how I was going to handle it.  Luckily, with my moms help, I made it through that one.  They started Flagyl and fluids on me while we did the enemas, but they had to wait for IV therapy, because my previous IV site failed.  (I had already had 2) So, IV therapy gave me my 3rd IV and we finished the enemas and all and we got down to DTC (Diagnostic and Treatment Center) for the sigmoid colonoscopy (look at the picture - a full colonoscopy is the entire colon, a sigmoid is just a short 10in at most).  He wanted to biopsy and such.  Well, that didn't go too well either.  He went a few inches and had to stop... it was just too swollen and he didn't want to push it.  Then, while asleep, I threw up on the nurses without my knowledge.  When I woke they were frantically pulling sheets and pillows and everything off me trying to clean me up...and I had NO clue.  I remember I kept waiting up during the procedure and I remember moaning in some pain, but they kept shooting me down.  I was quite drugged after that.  They took me back to my room after a short recovery and when I got back to the room, they tried to start my fluids and my 2nd antibiotic, Cipro.  Well, my IV site failed again.  So, IV therapy was called again.  This is IV #4 for the day (#7 for the week).  The IV therapy nurse and the check-in nurse (That's another story, they discharged someone across the hall and erased all my info, so we had to check-in twice because in the computer I was sent home.) talked to me heavily about getting a port.  So, they recommended I talk to the doctor about it.  Then, I got a quick shower, and then they started more meds.

I slept from about 4pm until around 3am Sunday morning.  Woke up for a few hours and was okay.  I received no pain meds in that time, only a few nausea meds.  But, then at around 10am, I started to eat some clear liquids (I'm on a clear liquids diet).  I ate some jello, and it didn't go over well.  I had a bowel movement and the pain came back, not as fierce, but back it came.  So, I received more nausea and pain meds (the dilaudid).  I'm still a bit loopy from it, but okay.  I've had some icee for lunch, but now my 7th iv for the week (4th IV from yesterday) has failed because it is burning even with just fluids.  So, I'm waiting on the doctor to come in to discuss getting a port put in because my veins are failing...  This would involve putting me under and putting a direct line where they can draw blood labs and put meds and fluids in a central line in my chest.  In the long run, it'd be better.  My Remicade could run through it and it would just need flushed every 28 days, but with all the IVF I have done, they are pretty certain I can do that myself.  There are a few labs they'd still have to draw from my actual veins, but it'd cut WAY down on the number of sticks I receive in the future.  They are also working on getting me some lidocaine rectal gel as I'm having a difficult time getting my medicinal enemas in from being so tender down there.

That is the gist of it all for now.  I'm weak and resting and when I was admitted, they said at least 3 or 4 days.  But, given I'm having all this trouble, I hesitate to say I'll be home in that short of time, but it's day by day.  They have me on bowel rest and once things are under control, we'll try food and once we try food and we pass it, then we'll be good.  They have also started doing stool samples.

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We interupt this blog entry to announce:
A PICC LINE HAS BEEN PLACED!  They would have to wait a day or so for a port and I had no vein access at the moment, so they went with the PICC since we still are on almost all IV meds.  So, this is a bit uncomfortable, but I'm sure it'll get better....
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So, here's a list of meds...
Flagyl - Antibiotic #1
Cipro - Antibiotic #1
Lovenox - Blood thinner - I'm apparently at greater risk of blood clot from active Crohn's
Steroids - 10mg/dose, but 4x per day, so 40mg total
Rowasa enemas - this is hit and miss at the moment because I'm so swollen, but twice a day
Phenergan - Nausea meds, as needed
Dilaudid - Pain meds, as needed
Fluids - Round the clock, 24/7

Oh, and he's requesting 3 stool samples and daily blood panels...

I think that sums up most of it for now!  Dr. Rusche stopped in during the PICC line and well, I didn't get to talk to him in depth.  So, more to come, but I'm just on bowel rest on a clear liquid diet.. I still think I'm going to be in longer then 4 days, but time shall tell.....

More to come.....

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Interruption #2
Dr. Rusche came back in....
He just wants to see me get better day by day.  He's super!  Addy was on the floor playing and he was super good with her too.  Anyway, everything is the same until tomorrow.  He's waiting on the viral cultures from the colonoscopy yesterday and we'll know more with that, but he's 99% certain this is all Crohn's. 

She loved them!  No crying, almost bored with them.  Hated mommy covering her ears... but, she loved them... they didn't phase her a bit!   (In fact, she's sleeping through some loud neighbor fireworks right now! ).

Not sure how to describe this.  I'll just say this is my new favorite set of photos....

I'm the mother of 2 beautiful little girls....2...











FYI, This was Addy's first time to play in grass too....she loved it.  Quite the carefree little girl!

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini....








Gotta love it!   Just gotta love it!