Just when I think I'm doing better... it hits.

I guess I shouldn't of ventured into soft foods, but I was hungry.  A few hours after I ate, and 2 episodes later, the nurse just jacked me up with dilaudid and bentyl (sp???).  The dilaudid is taking away the pain and making me loopy and the bentyl is supposed to help calm the spasms in my intestines.  I'll take anything...

Now, off to try and sleep.  I'm trying like hell not to get down on myself about this, but it's hard.  There's so much that needs done and I have no strength to do anything now and this is a hill I'm going to have to climb to regain it.

Just when things looked good again... 

Sorry, I just need to pout about it I guess.  I try and keep a positive outlook on Crohn's.  I try not to let it interfere with life so much and I try like hell to take care of myself, but this episode took me off guard so much that it simply has gotten me down. 

I hung some pics up of Addy and Addy at Reagan's grave.  I look at those and they make me smile.  I just want to get home.  Her birthday is 2 weeks from Saturday... The anniversary of Reagan's death is 2 weeks from Saturday.  And, here I am in the hospital.  I guess if you really think about it... the timing of this flare is during a stressful period of my life....

This ugly disease...  God chose me to live this road for a reason and some days I just feel defeated and angry...luckily and the good days outweigh the bad, but then there are those days...  days like today...