Well, on Saturday, after 8 days in the hospital, I was released at around 1:45pm!  It felt SOO good.  My nurse wheeled my happy tail out of the hospital.  I was discharged with stronger pain pills then I currently have (He told me if I needed something stronger, something was wrong and I needed to come back), a medication called Librax (similar to Bentyl, but it doesn't have the tiredness side effect I was having with it, which REALLY bothered me, especially with having Addy and I only take Librax 2x per day instead of Bentyl was 4x per day), and of course the lovely dreaded steroids.  But, they are already weaning me off steroids.  I saw a different GI on Saturday for discharge as Dr. Rusche went on vacation, but I will follow up with Dr. Rusche.  Dr. Bello discharged me and he was fantastic.  I had my bags packed and my shower and I called Charley and the nurses frantically got my paperwork together in about 30 minutes because I was ready to GO!   I missed my baby girl!

The first few days have been tough.  My stamina is absolutely wiped.  I had forgotten the evil side effects of steroids and also how badly a severe flare takes a hit on you physical body.  I seriously only put away Addy's clothes that Charley had already washed and laid out on her crib and simply put them on hangers and into her hutch and I was so tired I had to take a nap.  The next day I tried a few more things time wise and took a shower and you'd think I'd ran a marathon.  I'm huffing and puffing after just walking up the stairs and I get light-headed so easily.  A lot of it IS steroids, but another bit was being in bed for nearly 2 weeks once you consider the week before I was admitted.  I'm really winded.  I hate feeling like this, but I'm at least moving UP the hill now and not sliding down. 

I lost a total of 7lbs in the hospital.  Not really that bad, but not great either.  I'm gaining it back thanks to steroids, but I could of stood to lose it anyway.  Steroids increase your appetite and sort of balloon you up.  I'm feeling my face already begin the "swelling" process so I'm not looking forward to moon face and I'm hoping we can avoid it with a shortened dose of steroids.  My legs ache too, steroids again!

But, I'm feeling alright.  Days are tough and it's a matter of rebuilding strength.  My most important goal is to regain the strength to take care of Addy.  If it's all I get done in a day, that's okay.  We're doing okay.   Making and preparing meals for her can be exhausting, but I've cut us both some slack and instead of doing all home-cooked like I normally do, she's been getting a lot of prepackaged foods.  But, she's enjoying the break!  We do share a banana quite frequently, but she's eating a lot of Gerber Pasta Pick-ups these day and Gerber Puffs!   Hopefully we'll get back to her regular menu in a week or two once things calm down.  She's really a good eater.  She loves ALL kinds of fruits and veggies.  She even really likes broccili and cauliflower.  I was really blessed with a good little eater.  I laugh because I found her photos from the first time I fed her cereal and she SCREAMED bloody murder.  Now, she drinks her formula from a sippy cup (we still do a few bottles a day - night and morning usually or naptimes), she eats lots of finger foods with NO teeth still (Yes, almost 1 and NO teeth!), and she typically clears her plate/tray.  I'm lucky here!  I know this! 

The first night home with Addy was hard though.  She became QUITE the Daddy's girl while I was in the hospital, which was hard.  I cried.  She hurt herself and immediately bypassed me and went STRAIGHT to Daddy and at bedtime she wanted DADDY and not me.  That was hard.  Granted, I think the last 8 days were fantastic for her and Daddy.  They got a lot of good bonding time in and Grandma got lots of cuddles too, but man, that hurt.  I know she just was confused, but it was hard.  But, as of today, Tuesday, she's coming around and learning to want mommy more and more again.  Of course, she loves her Dada and hollers her name ALL the time!  But, I finally heard a Mama on Sunday!

As for her words?  She's a jibber-jabber'er that's for sure!  Dada, Mama, Nana (which we can't seem to figure out if she's saying no-no or banana - she just mutters it nonstop), she says her name too which is funny.  When we named her Addy we never thought how easy her name would be to say, but hey, that's okay!  She says Hi and Hey and lots of Ahhs.  Nothing more then that really and I didn't honestly expect her to jibber as much as she has being that she's got time to catch up still, but I think her cousin Clayton has taught her a few things along the way.  In fact, I know he has!

She's SUCH a giggler these days too.  She has this "fake" laugh and if you are laughing at someone else and she's in the room, she'll just demand your attention and giggle too, but very "fakey."  She's a ball of fun.  We have her sort of baracaded in the living room these days with toys, but she still manages to climb into and over everything and her new favorites are climbing OVER her toy piano and knocking it over with her, climbing UNDER her exersaucer that splits apart into an entertainment center and pulling up to play with all the fun buttons on the cable box, surround sound, and dvd player (all the while Daddy screams NO-NO ADDISON!).  And, she promptly looks at daddy giggles and does it again and screams DADA right back at him.  Uhm yeah, we have some discipline issues in our future!

But, all is going well.  We have a crazy August ahead.  Her birthday is the 2nd and we're having a fun party at our home!  I can't wait really.  It's a princess party, of course, and I just love opening our home to our friends and family!  I'm hoping it's not TOO screeching hot, but we're moving furniture around to make sure if it's TOO hot, everyone can have a seat and chat inside!  2 weeks after that, I'm in charge of a large bowling event in town and that is keeping me busy as ever too, and then the following Friday, we're off on vacation!  Can't wait!  We're going to go see some friends in Florida and frankly, I'm excited.  Addy gets to go to Disney and we're hoping to just enjoy a break before everything gets crazy for fall.  I'm a bit nervous about her first BIG trip, but we're planning on driving through the night and hopefully she'll sleep!

Hmm.. I guess I should let you all know on a few other pieces of info!

1) My Crohn's is not responding 100% to the Remicade yet.  I have to schedule a follow-up for next week with Dr. Rusche and I'm sure we'll discuss at length.  Apparently, it can take up to 6 treatments (1 yo) for it's full effectiveness to really kick in.  That worries me greatly.  I wonder how much I'll have to "suffer" before I get the relief I was SO used to.  I had a spell tonight and it just wasn't good.  Not near as bad, but wasn't good.  I had to take a pain pill.  I've taken 3 since I've been home and I know I shouldn't beat myself up over that.  There are LOTS of people with Crohn's that live with pain meds daily.  I just hate taking them, especially when I have Addy.  But, anyway, please continue to pray that the Remicade kicks in sometime soon.  We were hoping it was the "answer," but if it doesn't work soon or it's effectiveness isn't enough, they could be talking other drugs and my drug list option is pretty slim.  I think we've got 2-3 more drugs and then they start discussing removing and re-sectioning my colon with just scares the crap out of me.  I'd likely need an ostomy for life, which doesn't so much bother me, but I'm just not "ready" for it yet, if that makes sense.  I know in the future it's going to likely be in the cards, but I hold onto hope that these drugs that are coming onto the market are what will work for me, or at least buy me time.

2) More children - Yes, I said MORE kids!   Obviously, this is based SOLELY on the outcomes of the above, but if all goes well, we hope to do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) with our remaining embryos from our IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization) from last year with the girls.  These eggs that are frozen were retrieved at the time we conceived the girls AND fertilized.  They cryo-froze them and whenever we are ready, we go back and they unthaw them and simply transfer them.  The process is WAY easier on my body and cheaper to boot!  But, there is conflicting info with the GIs.  Some say I need declared remission for 3-6 months, some say just as long as you're in remission, etc.  See, if I'm NOT in remission, I have a VERY VERY good chance of having a miscarriage or having severe complications with a pregnancy.  The good news is I have an AMAZING fertility doctor who works well with me on when to transfer.  So, we work around my Remicade.  It's hard, but we do it.  We had hoped for September, but this last flare-up set me back and we have to wait to talk to the GI's before we do anything.  It might still work, but I'm losing hope that it will and we may just have to push it back another month or two to give my body a chance to heal.  But, yes ladies and gents!   We are going to embark on the crazy land of infertility and conception again.  It's not as exciting as the good ol' fashioned way, but we cannot wait to announce to all of you when we are pregnant again!  I felt WONDERFUL pregnant, and I can't wait to feel that again and I cannot WAIT to make Reagan & Addison Big sisters!   But, again, like I said, it's all up to what the GIs say and my fertility doc.  I'm sure it'll be another battle, but not one I'm really worried about at the moment.  Though, it has been said and advised that we conceive quickly (once in remission) as future surgeries could cause bigger issues for pregnancy then we already have!  But, more on this as we come to it!

I think that's it.  That was a VERY long update, but I'm a bit scattered still.  Steroids and pain pills and all the meds just make me a bit off at times.  So, I apologize for that!

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and well wishes.  We still need some as we're approaching difficult days ahead with the bittersweet day of August 2nd.... but I'm glad to be home... and holding my baby girl.  She certainly makes me smile during even the worst of moments....